Evil Experiment #1 Part 5 - Points to remember

So here's a quick summary of the salient points from the previous couple of days of messing around with Celine's Plenty Of Fish account...

1. Do NOT use "hi" as your subject line when emailing women on POF - if you do, you'll fall into the invisible man category for sure.

2. Do NOT be sexually explicit in your emails unless by some act of God, she starts it, even then be careful.

3. Do NOT send your email/MSN address or phone number in the first email.

4. Do NOT put yourself down unless you can do it in a majorly cocky/funny way. Anything less projects weakness and insecurity.

5. Do NOT focus on a woman's looks. She's much more than that.

6. Do NOT write single word emails.

7. Do NOT write emails when you've been licking poisonous toads.

8. Do NOT show shirtless pictures.

9. Do NOT send "gifts" - it's pointless and needy.

10. Do NOT use canned materials from "seduction community" gurus.

11. Do NOT forget to keep track of who you've emailed.

12. Do NOT add a woman to your favourites - They can see you've done it and it's more than a little creepy. If you want to bookmark someone's profile for later viewing, hold down the "ctrl" button on your keyboard and press "D" to bookmark the page in your browser.

Evil Experiment #1 part 2 - Thinking Outside the (in) Box

Remember how ages ago I said that Celine had received 4 emails in the 10 minutes since she created her POF profile?

Her profile has been up for a few hours now and we're looking at the following statistics:

Profile Views: Countless (not including this data anymore)

Messages: 37

Favourited: 3

Gifts: 7

You're a popular girl Celine, you saucy minx.

Celine is still going through the emails and promises she'll get back to us shortly. As you can see, the competition on POF is gonna be tough. Before we delve into the content of the emails as well as the profiles of the guys who sent them, let's have a look at the subject lines. How many emails starting with "hi" can one girl get?

Lesson learned - Don't put "hey" or "hi" as your subject line for your initial email to women. It's boring and as you can see, they've seen it all before. 

How about this "Contains Gift" thing? 7 identical virtual bunches of lillies. I couldn't believe it! Celine didn't receive a single box of chocolates or even a nice steak. Freakin' purple lillies. I'm very disappointed guys.

Lesson learned - DO NOT send a gift in your first email. It's needy and a clear demonstration of lower social value - you need to bribe some poor female to read and answer your email? Plus, THEY AREN'T REAL FLOWERS - no-one's impressed by it and no one gives a shit how many (free) points you spent on such a wonderful gift.

And the Favourites... None of the three guys who favourited Celine have contacted her as yet. Favourites may be useful as a sort of bookmark, but you know... the girls can see who's favourited them just like you can. IF you're on any girl's favourites list you can also see when they last logged in - keeping track of someone's POF usage? Stalker FAIL.

Lesson Learned - DON'T FAVOURITE SOMEONE. It's not sweet, it's not impressive, it's creepy. Essentially you've favourited the girl on the off chance she might be as needy as you are and will contact you first. Not likely to happen. That's something that women (in my experience) do so unless you're ready to rip up your Man Card then grow a set of testicles and SEND HER A MESSAGE. What's the worst that can happen? Read-Deleted? Although, judging from the quality of the first 30-odd messages that Celine received, most of you are going to crash and burn. Here's hoping we can change that.